‘Twas the week after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste,
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I’d remember the [...]

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                    A professor at CCNY for a physiological psych class told his class about bananas.  He said the expression "going bananas" is from the effects of bananas on the brain.  Read on:        
 
Never, put your banana in the refrigerator!!!  This is interesting.  After reading this, you’ll never look at a banana in the same way again.
  [...]

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Father O’Malley answers the phone.  "Hello, is this Father O’Malley?"
"It is!"
"This is the Tax Dept. Can you help us?"
"I can!"
"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"
"I do!"
"Is he a member of your congregation?"
"He is!"
"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"
"He will."

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1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?
 
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
 
3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
 
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
 
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow’s sister.
 
6. Take the number 30, divide [...]

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  It’s so dry in North Carolina that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling; the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks, and the Episcopalians and Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.
 Now THAT’s   Dry.
 

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God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule,
working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy
loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack
intelligence. You will live for 40 years."
 
The mule answered, "To live like this for 40 years is
too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was
so.
 
Then [...]

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While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened by the beer, wine and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer.
The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it.
The first nun replied that she would handle [...]

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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
Childrens’ Views
 
No person really decides before they grow up who
they’re going to marry. God decides it always before,
and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
 
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
 
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be
yelling at [...]

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If you want the freshest tasting turkey this Thanksgiving,  
don’t buy a fresh turkey.  
 
That’s what the editors at Cook’s Illustrated magazine dis-  
covered when testing fresh and frozen turkeys for their November  
issue. Turns out frozen turkeys taste fresher and more moist  
than fresh.  
 
It may sound counterintuitive, but science backs them up.  
Apparently, turkeys [...]

Posted in All Things San Diego, Favorite Recipes, Helpful Hints, Holidays, Loretta's Line, Things of Interest No Comments »

I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold.
–Gregory,  5
Everybody’s got it all wrong. Angels don’t wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it.
–Olive,  9
It’s not easy to become an angel! First, you die.  Then you go to heaven, and then there’s still the flight training to go through. [...]

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