A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for
her Christmas Cards.
She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas
stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination? "
The blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this?
Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and
22 Baptists

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When choosing a vacation spot, be aware of the following
advertising terminology and their meanings . . .
 
Tropical . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rainy.
Old world charm . . . . . . . . No bath.
Open bar . . . . . […]

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   3-year-old Reese :
        
   "Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
        
   Harold is His name.  Amen."
        
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
        
   A little boy was overheard praying:
        
   "Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it.  I’m having a real good time like I am."
      
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
    After the christening […]

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A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.
 
The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, "I’d rather be tied […]

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In the 1400’s a law was set forth in England that a man was  allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence, we have "the rule of thumb!"
————————————————————
Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only … Ladies Forbidden"… Thus, the word […]

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‘Twas the week after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste,
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I’d remember the […]

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                    A professor at CCNY for a physiological psych class told his class about bananas.  He said the expression "going bananas" is from the effects of bananas on the brain.  Read on:        
 
Never, put your banana in the refrigerator!!!  This is interesting.  After reading this, you’ll never look at a banana in the same way again.
  […]

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Father O’Malley answers the phone.  "Hello, is this Father O’Malley?"
"It is!"
"This is the Tax Dept. Can you help us?"
"I can!"
"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"
"I do!"
"Is he a member of your congregation?"
"He is!"
"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"
"He will."

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1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?
 
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
 
3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
 
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
 
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow’s sister.
 
6. Take the number 30, divide […]

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  It’s so dry in North Carolina that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling; the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks, and the Episcopalians and Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.
 Now THAT’s   Dry.
 

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