A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for
her Christmas Cards.
She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas
stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination? "
The blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this?
Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and
22 Baptists

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   3-year-old Reese :
        
   "Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
        
   Harold is His name.  Amen."
        
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
        
   A little boy was overheard praying:
        
   "Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it.  I’m having a real good time like I am."
      
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
    After the christening […]

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A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.
 
The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, "I’d rather be tied […]

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‘Twas the week after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste,
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I’d remember the […]

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Father O’Malley answers the phone.  "Hello, is this Father O’Malley?"
"It is!"
"This is the Tax Dept. Can you help us?"
"I can!"
"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"
"I do!"
"Is he a member of your congregation?"
"He is!"
"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"
"He will."

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1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?
 
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
 
3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
 
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
 
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow’s sister.
 
6. Take the number 30, divide […]

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  It’s so dry in North Carolina that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling; the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks, and the Episcopalians and Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.
 Now THAT’s   Dry.
 

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God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule,
working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy
loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack
intelligence. You will live for 40 years."
 
The mule answered, "To live like this for 40 years is
too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was
so.
 
Then […]

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While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened by the beer, wine and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer.
The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it.
The first nun replied that she would handle […]

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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
Childrens’ Views
 
No person really decides before they grow up who
they’re going to marry. God decides it always before,
and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
 
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
 
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be
yelling at […]

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