TRANSLATION OF VACATION TERMS

February 15, 2008

When choosing a vacation spot, be aware of the following
advertising terminology and their meanings . . .

Tropical . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rainy.
Old world charm . . . . . . . . No bath.
Open bar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Free ice cubes
Pre registered rooms . . . . .Both already occupied.
Majestic setting . . . . . . . . . A long way from town.
Secluded hideaway . . . . . . Impossible to find except by cab
Options galore . . . . . . . . . . Nothing on the itinerary is included.
Knowledgeable trip hosts . .They’ve been on a greyhound once
Gentle breezes . . . . . . . . . OccasionalGale force winds.
Plush . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Top and bottom sheets.
Light and airy . . . . . . . . . . No air conditioning.
Picturesque . . . . . . . . . . . Cutie on the billboard across the street
Nominal fee . . . . . . . . . . . . Outrageous charge.
Explore on your own . . . . . Pay for it yourself.
No extra fees . . . . . . . . . . . No extras.
Standard . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sub-standard.
Deluxe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Standard.
Superior . . . . . . . . . . . . . . One free shower cap.
All the amenities . . . . . . . . Shower cap and soap.
Internet access . . . . . . . . You need your own dial-up account
Only 25 cents per call . . . We knock you off-line every 5 minutes