March 11, 2010
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent..
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can’t stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It’s Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don’t believe you," says Dolly. "It’s true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.
12.. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week…. and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and askedthem to disperse."But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said. "I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named ‘Ahmal.’ The other goes to afamily in Spain; they name him ‘Juan’ Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good) … a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
21. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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March 10, 2010

1 pound boneless, skinless chicken
breast, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 tablespoon oil
1 cup red peppers, coarsely chopped
1 cup baby carrots, coarsely chopped
1/2 cup mushrooms, sliced
1/2 cup snow peas
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 cup fat free Catalina salad dressing
2 tablespoons hoisin sauce or soy sauce
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper
Serve Over
2 cups brown rice, cooked
Cook chicken in hot oil in large skillet on high heat for 3 minutes, stirring consistently
Stir in vegetables and garlic and continue to stir for 5 to 6 minutes or until chicken is slightly browned.
Add in remaining ingredients and cook for an additional 2 minutes or until chicken is cooked through and vegetables are crisp-tender, stiring occasionally.
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March 9, 2010

A recent report shows that one in five U.S. homeowners owed more on their mortgage than their home was worth in the fourth quarter; however, California’s housing market is bucking the national trend and is telling a different story.
Although the report by Zillow.com claims that the percentage of American single-family homes with mortgages in negative equity rose in the fourth quarter, the report does not account for seasonal changes. The traditional home-buying season is April through August. Historically, this time period also is when median home prices rise. In September, median home prices generally show a declining trend, and remain steady from November through February. The change in the median home price noted by Zillow.com is a typical year-end seasonality adjustment in price.
Unlike the national median home price, the month-over-month changes in California’s median home price for 2009 were stronger than the long-run average. Low interest rates and tax incentives led to a rise in the demand for housing. As a result, housing inventory was constrained and created upward pressure on home prices.
California’s housing market has shown signs of stabilization since early last year. Sales of existing, single-family homes bottomed out in August 2007, and the median home price reached its trough in February 2009. In December, California’s median home price was 25.1 percent above the low for the current cycle.
In December, the median price of an existing, single-family home rose to $306,820, an 8.4 percent rise year-over-year, the second consecutive year-over-year increase, and the 10th consecutive month-over-month increase, according to C.A.R.’s December sales and price report.
Although home buyers should not focus solely on future home price appreciation, homeowners who purchase a median-priced house, live in their home for at least five years, and sell it at the then current median price, have averaged an annual rate of return of more than 11 percent, according to data collected by C.A.R. over the last 40 years.
source: Reuters
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March 8, 2010
Sales of existing homes, including single-family and condos, increased 13.9 percent to 6.03 million units in the fourth quarter, compared with 5.29 million units in the third quarter, according to a report by NAR. Sales also were 27.2 percent higher than the fourth quarter of 2008. Distressed properties accounted for 32 percent of fourth quarter transactions, a decline from 37 percent a year earlier.
The national median home price for existing, single-family homes was $172,900 in the fourth quarter, a 4.1 percent decrease compared with the fourth quarter of 2008. In the West, which includes California, existing-home sales increased 16.2 percent in the fourth quarter to an annual rate of 1.38 million units, 18.2 percent higher than a year ago, according to the report. The median home price of existing, single-family homes in the West was $227,200, a decline of 8.9 percent compared with the fourth quarter of 2008.
source: C.A.R.
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March 7, 2010
Foreclosures decreased 10 percent in January compared with December, according to RealtyTrac®’s monthly foreclosure market report. Foreclosure filings were reported on 315,716 U.S. properties in January, a 10 percent decrease compared with December, but up 15 percent compared with January 2009. The report also found nearly one in every 409 U.S. housing units received a foreclosure filing in January.
Foreclosure activity in California decreased 10.77 percent in January compared with December, with one in every 187 housing units receiving a foreclosure filing, according to the report. Six California cities registered foreclosure rates among the top 10 in the nation: Modesto, one in every 107 housing units; Stockton, one in 107; Riverside-San Bernardino-Ontario, one in 109; Merced, one in 109; Vallejo-Fairfield, one in 112; and Bakersfield, one in 118.
source: C.A.R.
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March 6, 2010

Wildlife Photographer to Reveal Beauty, Importance of Southern California Ocean
Marc Shargel to showcase his new book, "Wonders of the Sea Volume 2," on March 15
Scripps Institution of Oceanography / University of California, San Diego
Guest Speaker: Marc Shargel
Date: Monday, March 15, 2010
Location: Birch Aquarium at Scripps, 2300 Expedition Way, La Jolla
Time: 6:30-8 p.m.
Cost: $5
RSVP: 858-534-5771 or online at aquarium.ucsd.edu
Discover the beauty of Southern California’s underwater world and learn about the importance of marine protected areas at a special presentation March 15 at Birch Aquarium at Scripps Institution of Oceanography, UC San Diego.
Photos © Marc Shargel / LivingSeaimages.com
Marc Shargel, an award-winning wildlife photographer and author, will present his new book, Wonders of the Sea Volume Two: Marine Jewels of Southern California’s Coast and Islands. The book showcases areas of environmental importance currently being considered for designation as marine protected areas under the California Marine Life Protection Act.
Shargel’s presentation is part of Birch Aquarium at Scripps’ efforts to increase awareness about a critical statewide decision-making process under way that will determine where to place marine protected areas. In collaboration with Cabrillo Marine Aquarium, Ocean Institute and Aquarium of the Pacific, Birch Aquarium at Scripps is offering presentations, outdoor excursions, hands-on activities and online learning resources aimed at educating visitors about marine protected areas.
Author and wildlife photographer Marc Shargel. Photo by Steve Greenwood
Shargel will discuss the making of his new book, from nearly three decades of stunning underwater photography in the region to his research into the historic abundance and exploitation of Southern California marine life. Wonders of the Sea Volume Two presents photographs taken by Shargel and more than a dozen of Southern California’s best underwater and landscape shooters. Also included in the book are first-hand stories of residents’ strong personal connections to the region’s ocean and a series of historical sections with eye-opening archival photos and accounts from past centuries. Following the presentation, Shargel will sign copies of the book, which will be available for purchase.
A longtime advocate for the adoption of marine reserves, Shargel has testified before regulatory panels, given speeches to civic groups about the importance of protecting the ocean and participated in the founding of two marine conservation organizations in the Monterey Bay region. In 2005-2006, he served on the state’s Central Coast Regional Stakeholder Group, an advisory body that provided guidance to California’s Fish and Game Commission on where to designate marine protected areas along the southern central coast.
The Marine Life Protection Act, passed by California legislators in 1999, directs the state to redesign California’s system of marine protected areas to help safeguard marine life and critical habitats, marine ecosystems and marine natural heritage, as well as to improve recreational, educational and research opportunities provided by healthy marine ecosystems. Southern California’s Blue Ribbon Task Force, which sought advice from a team of scientists as well as local stakeholders, recently submitted its recommendation to the Fish and Game Commission on how to protect areas along the coast.
For more information about the Marine Life Protection Act, visit aquarium.ucsd.edu. For more information about Marc Shargel and Wonders of the Sea Volume Two, visit www.livingseaimages.com.
About Birch Aquarium at Scripps
Birch Aquarium at Scripps is the public exploration center for the world-renowned Scripps Institution of Oceanography at UC San Diego. Perched on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean, the aquarium features more than 60 habitats of fish and invertebrates from the cold waters of the Pacific Northwest to the tropical waters of Mexico and the Caribbean. An interactive museum showcases research discoveries by Scripps scientists on climate, Earth and ocean science. Accredited by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, Birch Aquarium welcomes an annual attendance of more than 400,000 visitors, including 45,000 school children.
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March 5, 2010
ALABAMA …. Was the first place to have 9-1-1, started in 1968.
ALASKA … One out of every 64 people has a pilot’s license.
ARIZONA …. Is a state in the continental U.S. that doesn’t follow Daylight Savings Time.
ARKANSAS …. Has the only active diamond mine in the U.S.
CALIFORNIA … Its economy is so large that if it were a country, it would rank seventh in the entire world.
COLORADO …. In 1976 it became the only state to turn down the Olympics.
CONNECTICUT … The Frisbee was invented here at Yale University.
DELAWARE …. Is reported to have more scientists and engineers than any other state.
FLORIDA …. At 759 square miles, Jacksonville is the U.S.’s largest city.
GEORGIA …. It was here, in 1886, that pharmacist John Pemberton made the first vat of Coca-Cola.
HAWAII .. Hawaiians live, on average, five years longer than residents in any other state.
IDAHO … TV was invented in Rigby, Idaho, in 1922.
ILLINOIS …. The Chicago River is dyed green every St.Patrick’s Day.
INDIANA ….. Home to Santa Claus, Indiana, which get a half million letters to Santa every year.
IOWA … Winnebagos get their name from Winnebago County. Also, it is the only state that begins with two vowels.
KANSAS … Liberal, Kansas, has an exact replica of the house in The Wizard of Oz.
KENTUCKY …. Has more than $6 billion in gold underneath Fort Knox.
LOUISIANA …. Has parishes instead of counties because they were originally Spanish church units.
MAINE … It’s so big, it covers as many square miles as the other five New England states combined.
MARYLAND …. The Ouija board was created in Baltimore in 1892.
MASSACHUSETTS … The Fig Newton is named after Newton, Massachusetts.
MICHIGAN …. Fremont, home to Gerber, is the baby food capital of the world.
MINNESOTA …. Bloomington’s Mall of America is so big, if you spent 10 minutes in each store, you’d be there nearly four days.
MISSISSIPPI … President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear here … that’s how the teddy bear got its name.
MISSOURI …. Is the birthplace of the ice cream cone.
MONTANA …. A sapphire from Montana is in the Crown Jewels of England.
NEBRASKA …. More triplets are born here than in any other state.
NEW HAMPSHIRE … Birthplace of Tupperware, invented in 1938 by Earl Tupper.
NEW JERSEY … Has the most shopping malls in one area in the world.
NEW MEXICO … Smokey the Bear was rescued from a 1950 forest fire here.
NEW YORK …. Is home to the nation’s oldest cattle ranch, started in 1747 in Montauk.
NORTH CAROLINA … Home of the first Krispy Kreme doughnut.
NORTH DAKOTA … Rigby, North Dakota, is the exact geographic center of North America.
OHIO … The hot dog was invented here in 1900. OH !!!!
OKLAHOMA …. The grounds of the state capital are covered by operating oil wells.
OREGON … Has the most ghost towns in the country.
PENNSYLVANIA … The smiley,
was first used in 1980 by computer scientists at Carnegie Mellon University.
RHODE ISLAND … The nation’s oldest bar, the White Horse Tavern, opened here in 1673
SOUTH CAROLINA … Sumter County is home to the world’s largest gingko farm.
SOUTH DAKOTA … Is the only state that’s never had an earthquake.
TENNESSEE …. Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry is the longest running live radio show in the world.
TEXAS … Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco back in 1885.
UTAH … The first Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant opened here in 1952.
VERMONT …. Montpelier is the only state capital without a McDonald’s.
VIRGINIA …. Home of the world’s largest office building …. the Pentagon.
WASHINGTON … Seattle has twice as many college graduates as any other state.
WASHINGTON D.C. … Was the first planned capital in the world.
WEST VIRGINIA … Had the world’s first brick paved street, Summers Street, laid in Charleston in 1870.
WISCONSIN …. The ice cream sundae was invented here in 1881 to get around Blue Laws prohibiting ice cream from being sold on Sundays.
WYOMING …. Was the first state to allow women to vote.
I hope you enjoyed this trivia and found it interesting!
~~~~~
Posted in Loretta's Line, Trivia
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March 4, 2010
The median price of existing, single-family homes rose 15 percent in January, while sales declined 10.6 percent compared with the prior year, according to C.A.R.’s latest sales and price report. The median price of an existing, single-family detached home in California during January was $287,440, a 15 percent increase from the revised $249,960 median for January 2009, according to the report. The January median price declined 6.3 percent compared with December’s $306,820 median price. Statewide home resale activity decreased 10.6 percent from the revised 602,660 unit sales pace recorded in January 2009. Sales in January 2010 decreased 3 percent compared with the previous month.
“Many sales that closed escrow in January were on homes with offers accepted during the holiday season–a time when many house hunters are first-time buyers,” said C.A.R. President Steve Goddard. “First-time buyers typically purchase homes priced below an area’s median home price. Reflecting this, the percentage of homes priced under $500,000 increased to 77 percent of all sales in January, compared with 75 percent in December.”
source: C.A.R.
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March 3, 2010

7 tablespoons flour
1/2 cup cocoa
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 egg whites
1 egg
3/4 cup sugar
8 tablespoons applesauce
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1 tablespoon walnuts
Preheat oven to 350*
Mix together flour, cocoa and salt.
Whisk together egg whites, egg, sugar, applesauce and vanilla.
Combine egg mixture and flour mixture.
Stir until blended, but DO NOT overmix.
Pour into greased 8 inch pan and sprinkle with walnuts.
Bake for 25 minutes.
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March 2, 2010
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale ‘ He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
‘You talk?’ he asks.
‘Yep,’ the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says ‘So, what’s your story?’
The Lab looks up and says, ‘Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.’
‘I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.’ ‘I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.’
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
‘Ten dollars,’ the guy says.
‘Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?’
‘Because he’s a liar. He never did any of that stuff.
Posted in Jokes, Loretta's Line
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